This past year I got THIS CD and I listen to it all the time. I cry happy tears when I hear some of the songs. I am resting in the peace that God has given me. Click play and listen as you read this post.
6 years ago I sat in my doctor’s office and drank a yummy, orange, somewhat fizzy drink. I was 6 months pregnant with Annabelle and as weird as this sounds, enjoying my glucose test. I had some time to myself and a sugary beverage. I got a phone call from my brother Daniel and we chatted about our upcoming trip to Michigan. It was only a few weeks away and he was looking forward to teaching Jack things I would need to unteach him.
We had a nice phone call. We usually texted, but for some reason we actually talked on the phone this day. I don’t remember too much more about the conversation, but life was good and we were caught up a bit on eachother’s lives. We were really looking forward to our summer trip because we hadn’t seen each other since the past year. It was the longest we’ve gone without getting back to see family, but we bought a house that Fall and that of course entailed a few extra expenditures. No money left for plane tickets.
My family. I’m the oldest of 4 boys. Queen Bee they call me.
Just a few short hours later my fairy tale life was shattered. There was an accident and Daniel was gone. I couldn’t believe my ears. I refuse to relive much beyond that point and thankfully God has blurred and faded so many memories for me. Philippians 4:8 is on my lips whenever I am tempted to think myself into a dark place. I must think on things that are good and lovely.
I had no idea that my last conversation with Daniel would be that phone call. It wasn’t anything special at the time, but it was such a gift to me later. I knew he was in a good place in his life spiritually. We talked about a Bible study he was doing with his friends. I knew that he cared about me. He was excited for us to visit. We ended the call looking forward to seeing one another soon.
We absolutely never know when our time on earth is done, but we don’t have to live in fear because we have eternity to look forward to. I never thought much about Heaven until we lost Daniel. Now I’m my usual curious self and always thinking about what it must be like. I cannot believe that my brother is in the presence of my Lord and Savior. He is with the people that we read about in the Bible. They aren’t just characters, they were real people that inhabit this unimaginable place we have to look forward to.
Today is just another day in many ways as we have a busy week wrapping up school, but it’s also a day that changed my life forever. God uses June 2 to teach me something new again and again. Today I will learn what year 6 feels like vs. year 1. I know that only God can comfort my friends when they are hurting. They too will experience His hand of peace in a way I can never begin to pen. I am comforted by God’s promises. Every time I hear a story about Dan or tell a story about Dan I am comforted by God using his life for His glory.
Shannon
November 15, 2015 at 1:09 pmI still think of him so often as well. He was a good kid. Gosh….
Rosie
November 13, 2015 at 2:23 pmMy deepest condolences for you and your family. My friend lost her son about the same age as your brother in an accident, and it was very hard, and still is very hard for her. She has been helping programs for teens and driving, but I know it does not ease her pain. I lost my brother when he was still pretty young, he was in perfect health and didn’t feel good one day and drove himself to the hospital and died on the way. It was very shocking and I miss him we lived in the same town and I would see him all the time.
amy tolley
June 8, 2015 at 10:35 pmmy prayers are with you god bless you and your family
Ginny
June 21, 2015 at 5:22 pmThank you Amy! I truly appreciate your prayers!!!
amy tolley
June 21, 2015 at 6:20 pmyou are so very welcome
Amy Orvin
June 8, 2015 at 12:19 pmI am so sad about your brother Daniel. I have two brothers and couldn’t bare the thought of losing either of them. It’s so tough losing loved ones. I recently lost my grandmother of 93 years to cancer. The pain and emptiness never goes away , does it? It only gets a little easier with time. This CD sounds lovely.