The first post, yesterday, has had an update. This family NEEDS a miracle. For those that are following along and wishing them well, praying for them, I wanted to update you. Since I posted yesterday, there have been two updates to Caitlin’s Care Page. In order to read these yourself, you have to have an account with Care Page and be signed in. Kinda complicated, but once in, it’s a great site to keep up to date on loved ones.
{Original image via Anne Jansen Photography}
I can’t fathom what this sweet family is experiencing emotionally. I simply can’t wrap my mind around it one bit. All I can do is pray and hope and believe for a miracle. Stand in the gap when the outcome doesn’t “look” good. I can’t help but yearn for this miracle for this family to be whole and have her home, in their arms again.
Please pray for them. Please believe for them. Please have hope for them.
Here is the update to the Care Page from 1/2 hour ago…
This mornings rounds brought no answers. Caitlin is still asleep.
Tests sent out about a metabolic answer have all come back negative. There are more tests pending, but that will take days to come back.
In the meantime, we wait. To us we’ve waited long enough. Every day that goes by without her awakening brings us closer and closer to a decision. The doctors have told us that they don’t know when that point will be, but that we are appropriately concerned about that reality.
Friends. There are no words to express the pain that we feel. We know that you grieve with us. While we are not losing hope in a miracle, more often we feel that we are just saying it now, and not believing it. We know that anything is possible, but right now it just doesn’t seem probable. It’s hard to keep putting our hearts on the line day after day knowing that at the end of the day, we may be, and are likely to be, disappointed again.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
We are trying with every fiber of our being to rely on Him; to lean on Him. But, right now He just seems so far away.
We know that you are all praying for us. Thank you and please keep doing so. When we have no strength, we fall back into your arms knowing that you will all lift us up. That’s what we need right now. Most of what we feel is a hole in our hearts. Nothing can fill it right now. Nothing can calm the pain. All we ask for is your prayers and your hope.
Mike and Shelly
And from last night…this one really moved me to tears.
Dear friends,
It has been a long and difficult day. We started today with a goal of Caitlin showing signs of movement and consciousness on her own. We knew that meds were still in her system, but declining. The MRI from yesterday night was not an MRI that was intended to see damage, but instead whether there was arterial or vascular damage in her brain such as a clot or bleeding. This morning we learned that it revealed there was not.
Our hopes were up, but the neurologist and our team of doctors very much wanted to see Caitlin begin to move today as the sedation of the meds wore off. If she did not, it could mean that there is such extensive damage to her brain that she may never wake up. Her motor system may be irreparable. We took this news as a hard blow, but we still had confidence that she would wake up today.
As of right now, she has not.
We are beginning to settle into a reality that we don’t want to experience. We are knowingly entering a place where our worst fears could be realized. This evening has been very, very tough for not only us, but our family and friends. We know that 1,000s have cried out to the Lord for her, but right now, His plan looks very different than ours. We are disappointed, angry, and frustrated with what has transpired today. With so many calling out to him, pleading and begging for Caitlin’s life to be spared, we thought that there was an undeniable wish that would have to be granted.
JOB 38 Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone— while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?
It’s hard to describe where we are with our emotions. I think on one hand we are disappointed, even angry at what we feel God has planned for our little one. Like Job, we have accused and shouted at Him. We have brought our frustrations out on Him. The Lord answered Job by reminding him who He was. He reminded Job what He had done that Job overlooked. In a way, we too have overlooked many things. Tonight we sat here with Caitlin and remembered the day we knew she was in mommy’s tummy. We remembered her first appointment. We remembered her first feel-able movements. We remembered the day of her birth. We remembered taking her home with us after delivering us out of the NICU. We have taken a lot of things for granted. He has already given us joy that we never really took the time to recognize and praise Him for. We have already said that we took for granted every late night waking, every difficult feeding, every poopy diaper change. Tonight we weren’t going to take for granted whatever time we had left.
Tonight we held Caitlin with all her tubes, her wires, everything. We sat and read a book. We told stories. We reminded her that we love her and that no matter what happens we will see her again. It was a precious moment that we will never forget.
Miracles can happen when you believe. We believe. We aren’t giving up hope yet. We know that what is impossible with man is possible with God. That being said, we have come to terms with whatever the future holds. We may not be able to perceive His thoughts; we may never know what His plan is in all of this. But, our only comfort…in life or death, is that Caitlin Mae belongs body and soul to her faithful savior. BECAUSE HE LIVES we can face tomorrow, because He lives…ALL fear is gone. Because we know He holds the future, we can face uncertain days because…He…lives.
#PrayingForCaitlin
Terra Heck
March 6, 2015 at 2:58 amI can’t even begin to imagine the sadness and frustration this family is going through. My heart aches for them. I have a strong faith in God but I’d probably have some feelings of anger if I was in the same situation.
Like I posted a couple days ago, I said a prayer for Caitlin. I’ve also put her on my small group’s prayer list so everyone in my group is now praying for her as well.
May this family be comforted through this trial and keep the faith, regardless of God’s plan.
Keara B.
March 5, 2015 at 9:58 pmThis poor family…. I can’t even imagine. I have no idea who they are, but I have tears in my eyes for them. I can only pray that God’s plan involves a miracle for them. Thank you for sharing this. I will keep praying hard.
Laura J
March 5, 2015 at 4:13 pmI will be saying lot of prayers for the whole family!!!
lana simanovicki
March 5, 2015 at 11:45 amim happy and sad at the same time have faith in god
Denise Taylor-Dennis
March 5, 2015 at 9:14 amWow I can’t believe what this family is having to go through but I am happy to see they are putting their faith and trust in God.
Ginny
March 5, 2015 at 12:34 amThanks for updates. I have carigbridge but login hasn’t worked for me to see updates. “The valley of the shadow of death” takes new meaning in a trial. I’m praying for this dear family. Prov. 3:5-6