griefshare.org :: healing from grief

If you have lost someone or felt helpless when someone you care about has lost a loved one, this is a post worth reading.

I’ve struggled with how personal to make this post.  I lost my brother in a tragic accident June 2, 2009.  He would be 24 years old on Wednesday if he were still with us, but he is celebrating his 2nd birthday in Heaven instead.   I can hardly wrap my brain around the fact that he is in blissful eternity with his heroes such as Moses, the apostle Paul, Ronald Reagan, and most importantly…Jesus Christ.  He was such a character on this earth, I can only imagine him carrying on in Heaven!

A dear friend of mine encouraged me to sign up for www.griefshare.org’s daily emails. For 365 days my family and I received an email. These emails addressed spiritual and emotional aspects of grief.  This site was unquestionably the most helpful earthly resource (besides the Bible) I had as I processed my grief.   It is a religious site, but not specific to any one denomination.

I’m in much better place in my life now when it comes to my grief, but the first year after we lost Daniel was very difficult.  There were moments of joy when our sweet Annabelle joined our family, but there were many middle of the night feedings that I sat and wept while I held my newborn. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of my parents heart ache of losing a child and my own sadness that Daniel would never know my children. Without fail, I’d get an email to help me with that aspect of grief right when it felt unbearable.

I remember trying to keep myself so busy that I wouldn’t have time to think about my brother being gone.  I had Christmas cards address and stamped by Thanksgiving Day, rooms repainted and painted again, organizational projects around every corner of the house, and yet my life felt so cluttered and unorganized I couldn’t stand it.  Then I got the email below:

A compulsive behavior is an activity you feel compelled to do excessively in order to distract yourself from the pain. It is something you do to avoid grief.

Many people associate compulsive behaviors with negative actions such as overeating, not eating, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing drugs. But compulsive behaviors can also include activities that are normally thought of as good—working, cleaning, serving at church, or remodeling the house. These behaviors become compulsive when a person continues to overdo an activity to avoid the pain.

A compulsive behavior “always offers more than it provides,” says Dr. John Trent. Therefore, you might keep increasing your activity or behavior to find that original satisfaction and comfort, which is now elusive.

“Genuine healing from grief,” says Dr. Trent, “comes not in an artificial climate, which all those are—activity or drugs or whatever, it comes through the reality of knowing Jesus Christ.”

Please pin this post for future reference and share www.griefshare.org with someone who has lost a loved one.  Not only are the daily emails an enormous help, but there are grief share groups in most cities across America.  Don’t be scared to say the wrong thing to someone who is grieving.  You have this resource to share now.  People want to know you care.

I’d love to get a bit of feedback from this post.  There is so much more I’ve learned through these past 3 years, and continue to learn.  I want to reach out and tell friends and strangers alike that joy will return.  If you would like more reviews on grief resources, please leave a quick comment or email me at ginny@simplemomreviews.com.  Thanks Simple Readers!

*All opinions expressed in this review are my own.*