Pexels – CC0 LicenseIt’s important to note that no matter how professional you are as a person, you’re a human being first. It’s easy to forget that in an era of productivity, personal branding, and entrepreneurial management. For example, if you’re burnt out at work, taking a rest and gaining some reprieve is more than worth it. In professional terms, considering yourself your best and most important asset is key.
This is also true to remember when your daily life isn’t quite as predictable and secure as it once was. For example, if you find yourself at odds with a partner, dealing with a relationship breakdown or divorce, or perhaps going through family court. This can impact your personal life and emotional well-being, which in turn can affect your professional capabilities and career if you’re not careful about it.
In this post, we intend to help you with a few solid tips and precautions to take at this time. Note that these difficulties can affect anyone, and so it’s best not to dismiss or handwave them as immaturity. With that in mind, please consider:
Discuss Your Experience With Your Manager Or Boss
You’ll find that it’s wise to keep your manager or boss informed about these general personal challenges that might affect your work. You don’t need to share every detail and be too transparent about your relationship of course, but a brief, professional explanation can help them understand your situation. A good manager will understand.
You have nothing to be ashamed of here, so just approach this conversation calmly and professionally. You might say something like, “I’m going through a difficult personal situation with my ex-partner that may occasionally impact my work. I’m committed to maintaining my performance, but I wanted you to be aware of that.”
This openness can let a good manager to help accommodate you if needed. It also prevents misunderstandings if your performance temporarily dips, if you’re distracted one morning, or if you’re struggling with a workload. Of course, that doesn’t give you carte blanche to just ignore your work or not deliver in your team, but most managers are human too, and they may check up on you to make sure all is okay or if you need a little extra support. They’ve likely faced personal challenges and can often be more understanding than you might expect.
Make It Clear Your Work Is Off-Limits
The end of a relationship and especially marriage is rarely a clean and objective affair, but like pulling a weed, there are ways to make certain it doesn’t affect your surrounding environment. Make it clear to your ex-partner or their family involved in your personal situation that your workplace is off-limits for any related confrontations. This can unfortunately be the case if your partner feels they’re not getting access to you or able to talk through the situation.
To help with this, tell your ex-partner, family members, or anyone else involved that they should not contact you at work about personal matters unless it’s an emergency. This helps you keep your professional image and allows you to focus on your job during work hours as opposed to anything at home.
If it’s appropriate, consider offering a different contact method for emergencies or urgent matters – like a second phone. If your partner is abusive or toxic, you may need to tell to your manager and also be ready to call law enforcement if they arrive at your workplace. Remember that your safety is more important than anything else, and it’s not your fault you’ve been targeted. It’s not prudent for a manager to punish you for that.
Book Mental Health Days Off If You Need Them
Keep in mind that mental health is just as important as physical health, and yes, sometimes mental health can be affected by a divorce or relationship breakdown. If you’re feeling as though it’s too overwhelming, don’t hesitate to take a mental health day. These days can be essential for recharging or simply being able to cope. Sometimes, workplaces have counseling support resources for personal matters which can help keep you in good condition during your daily processes. If you have a good manager, they will understand.
Use this free time to rest, reflect, or seek support, even if you need to go to a doctor to gain some more advice. You might spend the day relaxing at home, speaking with a therapist, or dealing with the issue directly. Don’t force yourself into any one of these directions, sometimes rest is just necessary.
Don’t Throw Yourself Into Work To Ignore Your Troubles
When going through a tough time, many people throw themselves into their work to help focus on something outside personal affairs. This is not always a toxic strategy, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to be doing the best work of your life either. This is especially true if you’re not working out of love for the job, but simply to occupy yourself, taking too much over time and perhaps adding more strain on the rest of your team.
Remember that overworking can lead to burnout and doesn’t address the underlying problems. Of course, there’s no reason why you can’t keep up your professional responsibilities, but also consider yourself part of that work, and invest the time and energy to address your personal challenges on top of that.
This is especially true if others in the workplace have noticed your hesitance to go home or your willingness to plow through work without necessarily reviewing its quality or standard. This can make you a less cooperative and capable assistant who only causes trouble as time goes on. It’s best not to let your professional image and affability suffer in this way, so be mindful if you’re spending too much time at the office.
Try To Keep The Workplace Venting To A Minimum
Of course, if you have friends in the office, it’s pretty normal to want to share your experiences with such colleagues, but remember that excessive venting at work can be less helpful than you imagine. It can affect your professional image and possibly make others uncomfortable. They’re just trying to work too, and may also be encountering issues at home, so it’s best not to trauma dump here.
If you really need to talk there, choose one or two trusted colleagues and keep conversations brief and appropriate for the workplace – better yet, save deeper discussions for friends outside of work or a professional counselor as we mentioned above. It’ll help you keep your usual personality at work but also let those who need to know to understand your situation.
Book Leave If You Need To Move Out Or Readjust
Of course, such major life changes, like moving out after a relationship ends, can often require time and energy to deal with. This is where using leave to help plan this out, such as moving into an apartment or selling your house, can be important.
Usually, planning this leave in advance is good form and expected by your bosses. But if you’ve been candid with them about the situation, they may understand why you need a few days off to deal with a personal situation. It also allows your workplace to prepare for your absence, the sooner they know the better.
Be clear about the duration of your leave and how contactable you’ll be during this time, such as if work needs to call you about a particular issue. Usually being available this way can help you offset the inconvenience.
With this advice, we believe you can limit relationship breakdown from impacting your career and move through this life change with a sense of integrity and possibility.
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