When a loved one is ill, it can be challenging to know how best to support them through this challenging time. We want to make the situation better for them, but sometimes it’s hard to know the right thing to say. The fact that you care enough to worry about this shows you already care very much in tune with their needs and have the best intentions. Here are some ideas (besides hugs from grandkids) to provide your loved one with the support they need:
See Things From Your Loved One’s Perspective
It is easy to get caught up in your own feelings about your loved one’s illness, but it is crucial to keep seeing the situation from their perspective. When you consider things from their viewpoint, you are far less likely to say the wrong thing or upset them. Doing this will help demonstrate that you are empathetic to their situation without making them feel worse. Offer simple pleasures like painting their nails. A dear elderly friend of mine was so touched by this gesture and I remember wondering if it was okay to offer a manicure.
Offer a Listening Ear
Viewing the illness from your loved one’s perspective is vital, but to get a clear understanding of how they are feeling, you need to listen to them. Taking the time to do this shows respect and provides your loved one with a vital outlet for their emotions. They might not be ready to share, but be there to listen, even if it’s emotional for you both. Teach your kids to love their loved ones too. Our Charlie gives the best hugs and it was just what his great grandma needed in that moment.
Provide Practical Support
Everyday tasks can feel like an impossible challenge to someone that is very ill. Being able to complete chores, buy groceries, and cook meals can all be a struggle. Personal care can also be extremely difficult and is another area where your loved one may need support. Using a service such as Freedomcare will enable you to get paid to help take care of your loved one, which will provide you both with the peace of mind that they are getting the best care and attention.
Make Time for Fun
It can feel like the illness takes over your loved one’s life and that every waking moment is spent discussing the illness and treatments. There will inevitably be a cloud over life, but it’s okay to ask if they are up for a game of Go Fish. My children sat by my friend’s bedside and played Go Fish when she was dying of cancer. It makes me emotional to remember this picture, but in that moment our kids were learning empathy and our friend was distracted from her pain for a brief time. She put that sweet smile on my Charlie’s face which made her feel happy.
