like having a puppy… only better!

As I was walking through the store with my kids the other day my girls continued a conversation that had started in the car where they pestered asked me for a pet. As I continued to supply the many variations of “NO.” that I have come up with in past I realized how amusing my answers were to the shoppers around us (I kid you not one lady turned her head away and bust out laughing after she heard us).

So, in no particular order here are the top 5 responses to why my children aren’t getting certain pets any time soon. Please feel free to use any variations of these arguments to dissuade your own children from desired pet ownership.

Kids: Can we have a puppy?
Mom: No. You have a baby brother and that’s like having a puppy… only better!

Kids: Can we have a fish?
Mom: No. We have no place to keep the fish safe from your baby brother except the kitchen table and I don’t want to smell fish while I eat.
Super Determined Oldest Child: Well, we could all just wear clothes pins on our noses. I’d do that.
Mom: Nice try. No.

Kids: Can we get a goat?
Mom: Why would you even want a goat? What would you do with a goat when we go to do things and leave the house for trips?
Super Determined Oldest Child: We could get a trailer and take it with us.
Mom: A goat couldn’t get out everywhere that we go and would get too hot in the summer stuck in the trailer.
Super Determined Oldest Child: We could get it air conditioning.
Mom: Air conditioning? For a goat? In a trailer? Um… No.

Kids: Can we get a hamster/guinea pig/{insert any other type of rodent here}?”
Meanest Mom Ever: No. Because if it escaped from it’s cage I would not be able to handle it and you would cry when I had Dad catch your pet in a trap.
(I do NOT do rodents. Ever.)

Super Determined Oldest Child: Can we have a chicken?
Mom: A chickens? Why would you want a chicken?
Realistic Younger Child: Yeah, that’s not even cuddly. It would just peck at your face. Peck! Peck! Peck!

In all honesty I know my children will be ready and able to care for a pet within the next few years and I will gladly let them take on that responsibility when they are ready. But for right now, I have three monkeys of my own to manage and that’s quite enough for me.