So fellow parents, I know I’m usually the one sharing tips and recipes, but today, in addition to a couple of tips, I’m asking for a little help! My youngest started kindergarten this fall. After being home with me for his whole life, I had a feeling it was going to be a tough transition. His siblings are older and in different schools. He is used to a lot of one-on-one mommy time. He loves unstructured play. So, I can’t say I was exactly shocked when he woke up on the second day of school and asked why I ever signed him up for this. And look at this picture! He was SO excited on his first day!
We’ve tried a few things. Some helped a bit, some were a complete fail.
We’ve tried talking through the week (I come to help on Wednesdays, you have Reading Buddies on Fridays, this week is Donuts with Dad), you know ANYTHING to get him to look forward to something during the week. This helps a bit–it certainly isn’t enough but I think it helps him to see past getting on the bus and leaving me.
I’ve started letting him choose his snacks (within reason). Is it always the healthiest choice? No, but he knows dessert isn’t an option so at least it’s not complete junk. And if it helps him get on the bus without tears, right now it counts as a win for us.
I’ve started waking him up early. This was so counter intuitive to me. The first week of school, I would wake him up at the very last minute so he could get as much sleep as possible. But being rushed was not working well for him. Part of why he’s having such a hard time with school is that he misses playing with me. So I wake him up early and we make sure to have time to play a game together in the mornings. It’s a nice time for both of us and he’s able to get a little one-on-one time.
But, even with these in place, he still wakes up every morning asking if he can stay home from school–crying, begging, refusing to get dressed. He doesn’t dislike school–he just likes being home more. So, sweet parents of the interwebs, can you PLEASE give me some suggestions about how to make this transition a bit easier (for both of us)?
Heather!
September 27, 2018 at 1:05 pmMaybe more explicit “big boy” incentives would help? Even allowing him to choose his snacks…big boys get to choose what they have for a snack. Is there a game or toy he really wants? Perhaps you could offer that as an incentive for being a big boy. “Big boys get to play games with Mommy after school” or something like that. And if he isn’t a big boy, he doesn’t get the ‘reward’. (That would probably be the hardest part for you.) Lots of praise for bravery when he shows it, but don’t punish tears or fear, either. I hope that or something works!
Whatever you try, give it time. It’s still early in the school year, and he is still in a transition period. It takes longer for some kids, so try not to make too much of a big deal about it so you don’t inadvertently reward the unwanted behavior. Just be matter-of-fact about it. He will probably get into the swing of things and it will get easier. Good luck! Keep us posted about his progress!
Gina
October 1, 2018 at 6:57 pmThank you so much! While I expected a transition period, I was hopeful it would go better than this! My others did not have this issue, so it’s thrown me for a loop! I think I will have to try an incentive or reward. Thanks for that idea!
Ginny
September 25, 2018 at 7:38 pmAwe Gina, this breaks my heart a little bit. As hard as it was for me to send my squishy to school, he made it easy on me by being so thrilled to go. I had a very hard time going to 1st grade. It was a new school and I cried often. My mom would come eat lunch with me once a week to try to give me something to look forward to. Sounds like you already have that tip in place. The one thing that did help me quite a bit was being allowed to bring my favorite Care Bear to school. I really missed being home, so having my bear helped me feel like a piece of home was with me. It was something my teacher suggested and it worked. Maybe Sully has a favorite little item he could bring that wouldn’t be a distraction, but give him some comfort level of having home with him? I wish I had a better suggestion. I’m sure our lovely readers will have more to share.
Gina
October 1, 2018 at 6:57 pmThank you, Ginny! I hadn’t really thought of bringing something from home. I did think about putting some family pictures in his locker, but I didn’t know if that might make him MORE homesick!