One of the first things I learned when I became a mom is that children are always changing. My newborns looked different after just a few days of life. I blinked and I had a baby chasing our white fluffy cat around the living room. Now I’m dropping off a 6th grader, a 4th grader, and a Kindergartener at school each day. It all goes by a little too fast.
While human beings are among the slowest creatures to reach maturity there are animals equally slow to mature. Elephants hit maturity around 16 years old and stop growing around 25. Whale sharks mature at approximately 25 years of age. I don’t know how elephant and whale shark mommy’s feel, but I think it goes by too fast. At the same time, it’s such a delight to see your child change, mature, and develop new habits and interests. For moms – and dads too, of course – it can be challenging to keep up with each transformation. The challenges are not only emotional, but they also touch on practical and financial matters. After all, when you’re responsible for another life, you get to watch this life evolve biologically, psychologically and socially. How can you best approach the challenges of a growing child?
Do you have to buy everything new?
Having children is expensive for a variety of reasons from education to healthcare. Having kids means there are obvious reasons that force you to go shopping constantly. I am constantly having to buy our kids new clothes and shoes. I do keep hand me downs that have life left in them, but my oldest wore slims and my youngest wears husky sizes. Only shirts can be passed on to save money. Good thing I’m resourceful and have found other ways to fund the clothing budget. Find trustworthy resale shops that are happy to take your clothing, toys, and other child gear if they are in good used condition. While you’re in a consignment shop, see what deals you can find for your growing crew. You can also utilize garage sales – online or offline – to purge and purchase. However, you should be realistic: items that are not usable anymore should not be sold and you can’t purchase everything second hand.
What to do when they can suddenly reach everything?
Babies start out so cute and mostly quiet. Then there is that moment they begin to wander around the house. You need to modify your interior to include essential childproofing tips. If you have locks on the bedroom or the bathroom door, you may have to sacrifice privacy for the benefit of safety. Young children could lock themselves in and panic. Additionally, now is the time to change your kitchen cupboards – you can find magnet locks that limit access – and cover your sockets. I still have my sockets protected and it hit me that I could probably pass those sockets on to a young mom starting to childproof her house.
Where’s your baby gone?
I missed some aspects of having babies and toddlers, but what about when your child starts giving you glimpses of the future adult they are becoming? For a lot of moms, it’s a traumatic shock that can even push them to ‘mourn’ the disappearance of their baby. Indeed, when the baby features disappear, parents feel at a loss. It can come suddenly and can leave you feeling depressed and anxious – for fear of missing out. Try embracing a sense of pride and love as you begin to accept that your child is changing and that they are learning new and independent skills.
What about when they begin to get curious about things?
As kids grow up, they develop a natural sense of curiosity, which as a parent you should encourage. Seeing the world through a child’s eyes means they will come up with embarrassing questions. The innocence of childhood meets their sense of curiosity. You may to deal with questions you wish they wouldn’t ask. Use the opportunity to develop empathy and understanding in your child instead of reprimanding them.
How do they develop adult skills?
The more your child grows up, the more skills they will learn to prepare for their lives as adults. Most parents can be anxious when their teenage kids learn to drive. You are aware of the risk involved, you want your child to be safe, but you need to learn to let go and let them take initiatives and develop new skills. Protecting your child can be counterproductive if it stops them from preparing for the challenges of adulthood.
Will they discover their own passions?
As your child begins to develop their personality, they also discover their passion and embrace meaningful hobbies. It can be difficult for parents to know how to best support their kids. In fact, a lot of parents accidentally put pressure on their children in an attempt to encourage them to be successful. In reality, this can discourage your child. Instead, you might want to keep things light and let your child experiment until they figure out what they want to do.
Can they make their own decisions?
Finally, there will be a time when your child may not want to spend time with you. They might want to go out with their friends, and you’ll find they stop sharing every detail of their lives with you. Try not to take it personally. Your job is to prepare them to be an adult. So you have to let them practice. As a parent, you need to remember that you have a life of your own too.
It’s a lot of hard to adjustments when your little one grows up, but it helps if moms know how to tackle the challenges of watching their baby become an adult. It’s the secret to a healthy relationship with them!
